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[21 Aug 2005|02:04pm] |
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i was looking through my documents on my computer and i found ALL of the poems i've written. theres like atleast a 100 of them. the majority of them don't have real titles. they're named "bad", "horrible", "terrible", etc. ( this one in particular was named bad. )
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[20 Aug 2005|02:48pm] |
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i guess ill be cool and post my schedule.
comment if we have any classes together.
1st SEM.-
IAG III (Taylor)
AP Chem. (Peterson)
Child Development I (Irons)
American Studies (Hackett/Harrison)
2nd SEM.-
Lit. & Philo. (Mullen) / Broadcasting (Hartman)
AP American Civics (Siegerman)
Fitness Aerobics (Yacovelli) / Psych (McCauley)
American Studies (Hackett/Harrison)
PS: the shore was AMAZING
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| happy effing birthday, mad dawg |
[10 Aug 2005|01:57pm] |
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its early in the day, but today has already been really good. i woke up and my dad told me that i had mail from brown. so i openned it and it was my certificate for successfully completing the course. i was excited, but it made me miss brown at the same time. everyone is getting annoyed that i talk about brown all the time, but no one really gets it and i dont expect them to. its just that that week at brown was such a major accomplishment for me. i've never been to an overnight camp of any kind. in fact, in 5th grade, i went to florida by myself to stay with my relatives and ended up coming home 4 days early because i was homesick... and then i with my family! so being in an unknown enviroment, by myself, was in itself a huge accomplishment for me. i navigated the airports... alone. i took the shuttle... alone. i found the residental life offices and my dorms... all by myself. i carried my bags up two stories... well, this girl corona helped me with that, i wont lie lol. i stayed in my single room, no matter how afraid i was that first day. that was a freaking huge deal for me. anyway, i also proved myself. i never believed myself to be an intelligent person. i mean, im not stupid, but i never thought of myself as a genious in anyway. by thriving in an ivy-league course as a high school student, i have proven to myself that im not as stupid as i thought. i actually am capable of doing things i once thought were impossible. i made new friends. i knew absolutely no one going into that week and i left, heartbroken that i was leaving all of my newfound friends. it was just an incredible week and i'm ready to sell my soul to get into brown.
anyway, besides the certicate in the mail, there was also my dance schedule for this year. its my typical schedule... two jazz company classes and a ballet class. but heres where this gets interesting. last year was my first year of ballet right? i was in ballet A. normally, i'd have to go through ballet B, ballet C, and ballet D and then take Intermediate ballet... etc. however, after only ballet A, they put me in Intermediate ballet. thats a big freakin deal. i skipped 3 years of ballet. im really proud of myself. i guess ms. linda saw something in me in my advanced summer classes that made her place me in a higher class. im really excited. i never thought i would have what it takes to get really involved in ballet, but i guess i was wrong.
woo hoo. yay for self-confidence building moments haha. so i guess this year wont be so bad after all. first semester, i have block 1 IAG III, block 2 AP chem, block 3 child development I, and block 4 american studies (with hacket/harrison). wish me freaking luck. but i really have to work my ass off to get into brown. wednesdays are going to be the hardest. ill be at my dance studio from 5:45-9:00. thats hell, it really is. i dont know when i'll be able to take care of my homework. its good im becoming a night owl this summer. that will be nessecary once school starts. then mondays, i'll have an hour and 45 min of company classes and on tuesdays, im taking modern with my favorite teacher, tim. so its really not that bad, except for those goddamn wednesdays. i hope i can find a way to improve my time management skills. wow this is much longer than i intended it to be, so i'll end this here. oh right, just one more thing: three days till the shore.
PS: happy birthday maddy!
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[08 Aug 2005|02:40pm] |
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most of you are probably going to punch my lights out for saying this, but summers almost over. normally, this time of summer, im totally bummed. school's going to be here in less than a month, which means homework, dance, and long, boring blocks will once again become part of my everyday life. but theres so much to look forward to, im not really all that upset. the shore's in 5 days. im so excited, we have so much fun at the shore. we all live together for a week, fight, get annoyed with each other, and then come home and realize that we're suffering from seperation anxiety and have to hang out every moment of the day. its my favorite. and maddy's birthday is in 2 days. maddy, if you're reading this, me danielle and hannah got you a freakin sweet present. its amazing! you should be pumped. but we're debating whether to give it to you on your real birthday or at your party so... yeah. the last few days have been pretty effed up so i dont really want to delve into them right now. whatever, everything's "fine" now. ahh theres so many things im looking forward to. im definitely really excited that abbey's coming home soon. i've missed her so so so so much. and nikki too. and i really hope when jeff comes home, he comes down the shore. that'd be awesome. and is it weird that im excited for school? i guess im just excited to have something to do, instead of sitting around all freakin day. and i do miss dance, even if its only been finished for a week now. the only thing im not looking forward to is august 22: wisdom teeth removal. im freaking out. if anyone has had theirs out already, give me some pointers. thanks.
( and i try so hard to just figure him out, but he wont tell me what hes been thinking about )
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[05 Aug 2005|04:41pm] |
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just found some new batteries for my crappy camera and thats the picture that i found awaiting me when i turned it on... haha i wonder who took it...( anyways... )
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| toodles |
[09 Jul 2005|12:46am] |
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im off to Brown tomorrow... i'll be back july 17th. try not to miss me too much... just kidding. i'm going to be so home sick, even though its only a week. oh well. i'll survive... i hope. im so excited to be the dumbest person there.
EDIT: wait, its past midnight so i guess that means im leaving today... if you're one of those psychos who looks at time that way. i still feel like its friday, but whatever.
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[14 Jun 2005|09:34pm] |
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today was my first day of summer freedom... and it was truly the definition of a summer day. i woke up at 11:00, which is pretty late for me. then i went over jono's at 1 and hung out there till 5:00. i came home with absolutely nothing to do. so i was just sitting around and then nikki called and asked if it was okay if she stopped by. of course i said it was fine. then we went on a walk. first we went to the high school... i know, its the first day of summer and we're already gravitating towards school... anywho, we went because noga, shannon, and t had a meeting about their spain trip and we wanted to find them. but every door of the school was locked... believe me, we tried them all. so then we decided to walk to ali's. on the way, we met a group of dogs, made up a song, and ran through some random person's sprinkler. we chilled at ali's for a while, and then left. we caught fireflies on the way home. and while its 9:30 and my days already coming to an end, i can't believe how much fun i had. i needed summer. i craved the freedom to just walk anywhere anytime. to do whatever, and not have to have a reason for it. tonight was what i needed. i think i may have screwed things up with jono though. oh well, what can you do? im bound to do it eventually.
( i love this song, you should so download it )
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[13 Apr 2005|09:32pm] |
dang. maddy is my best friend. i miss her. im excited for the beach
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| thanks katherine |
[04 Dec 2004|12:13pm] |
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CLAIRE:
Your first name of Claire has given you a responsible, expressive, inspirational, and friendly personality. Expression comes naturally to you and you are rarely at a loss for words; in fact, you have to put forth effort at times to curb an over-active tongue. Self-confidence has made it easy for you to meet people and you are well-liked for your spontaneous, happy ways. You sincerely like people and do not often experience loneliness; your work and home-life are likely filled with association You enjoy music and could have a fine singing voice; however, the study could be somewhat difficult because you do not find it easy to apply yourself to concentrated study for long periods. In this respect, this name is not altogether constructive; it creates a somewhat scattering influence which makes it difficult for you to finish what you start. This name brings disappointments and emotional involvements through being too sympathetic and easily influenced. As a result of your active nature, you have an appetite for quick-energy foods, which you could consume to excess. Health weakness appear as skin conditions, or as ailments relative to the liver.
so tonights the big night, the big sweet sixteen party. not big as in size of the party. big as in "monumental". sixteens not that old at all. according to the norm, i still have plenty of years left in me. but who knows how much time i have left? nice optimistic thinking isnt it? oh well, im so excited.
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[31 Oct 2004|09:45am] |
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hey guys. got a new halloween costume. so tonight i can either be the little mermaid OR kelly from saved by the bell. i havent decided which one yet. i think i like the new, kelly one better . it consists of a jacket i bought for $3.53 at a thrift store, a denim jacket from when i was 6, and some of my mom's gaudy, gold accesories. ( here are some pictures )
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[29 Oct 2004|10:26pm] |
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i miss him. i really really felt like i was getting over it... like i could bear all this... like everything would get better quickly, that everything was improving. but i guess i was wrong. i stayed in tonight and watched "eternal sunshine of the spotless mind" with my mom. it was the best movie ever. i dont know if you've seen it, but it was so good. i just felt like i could relate to it so much. this guy is really upset because he broke up with his girlfriend. he finds out that she had this procedure done to erase him from her memory and decides to get it done to himself, as a way to get rid of all the pain and upset hes feeling. the procedure basically just runs through all the memories he has of her and erases them one by one. at first, he feels relieved as his more recent, painful memories of her are being erased. but as the procedure continues, he realizes how much he wants to hold on to the good memories. he realizes how much he really loves her. i dont know if thats a good summary at all, just go see it. anyway... it made me realize how happy mike has made me. for the past few days ive been all bitter, saying things like "mikes such an asshole" and "it doesnt even matter... i dont care anymore", trying to move on. trying to some way make myself feel better. and it was working. id convinced myself that he was a bad person... that i could do so much better. but now i realize that thats all i did... i tried to sugarcoat everything for myself and make him seem like a bad person so i wouldnt miss him. but the truth is, hes not a bad person at all. my goodness, hes the best person. here i am. im stuck. i cant move on. i just cant get beyond this stupid feeling of missing him. i saw him a few hours ago... and i still miss him. i tried to make myself forget all the good times we shared, so i could hold a negitive image of mike and itd be easier to let go. its always easier to let go of something that hurts you. but how many times has mike hurt me? the number is so small next to the number of times hes made me feel happy. hes been the only person to make me feel like im a remotely good person. he used to tell me how he loved me more than anyone... how i was so pretty... how he never wanted us to be apart. he made me feel so happy. how am i going to let go of someone who made me happier than ive ever been? how can i do that? how can i forget how happy he made me? i was thinking that that would be the best thing... to just allow myself to forget the happiness. but now, im not so sure. if i did, in retrospect, our whole relationship would kind of seem pointless. it wouldve been 9 months of unhappiness. when thats not what it was at all. even he admits he was really happy when we were going out. i talked to him a few days ago. i asked him if he was happier now that we werent going out anymore. he said that he couldnt answer that because he was happy when we were going out, but things change... he said that feelings change and its just something that happens. what bull. feelings dont just change like that. this isnt one of those things that just happens in life. love isnt just one of those things. maybe im just the only one who gets it. but these feelings arent just something that can change so quickly. some girl yesterday asked if me and mike were getting back together. hah. who asks that. mike dumped me, and this girl asks me if we're going to get back together. i told her no and she seemed suprised. NO DUH we're not getting back together. he doesnt love me. and im stuck in this hole, im so pathetic. i cant get over it. i cant move on. why is this so difficult? i know the answer to that though... because i cant forget the good times. i cant just concentrate on how sad hes made me... i have to go and remember how happy he made me. and even if i had a choice... even if somehow, i could be erased of my memories of him and our happiness... i no longer think id want to. so im here... comparing myself to this movie. its uncanny how much i feel like i can relate to it. the only difference is they have a second chance at love. and i dont believe mike and i ever will. he told someone yesterday that he doesnt like me at all, in anyway. and im here, on a friday night, writing this, while hes out having fun and not missing me at all.
side note: the movie begins on the exact date mike and i started going out... 2/14/04. weird.
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[25 Oct 2004|08:25pm] |
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a girl in my CCD class told me she thought i was a saint. everyone was naming their grandparents who go to church everyday and knit scraves for the poor and she actually said me. haha funny huh?
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[13 Oct 2004|04:48pm] |
hey guys! not much is new here..... as always! i got into the jazz company at my dance studio (woo hoo) so now i have to take ballet, as well as jazz. tonights my first ballet class since... God knows when, and i promise i am going to make a fool of myself. im in the beginners class, so i bet im going to be with all 5 year olds who i dont know. actually, thats a lie, theyll probably all be like 12... but still. it wont be too much fun. i hope it turns out that i do know someone, thatd be cool.
schools going fine. its kind of boring, but its better than merion i guess. i still miss all the mma girls, but im going to the mixer friday! im so excited to see everyone. its going to be so much fun. mike might go with me. he said he would like 3,000 years ago, but now hes not sure. oh boys...
mr play it safe was afraid to fly
packed his suitcase, kissed his kids goodbye
he waited his whole damn life to take that flight
and as the plane crashed down he thought "well isnt this nice"
isnt it ironic, dont you think?
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[26 Jun 2004|04:17pm] |
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say hello to porkchop skeeter overbeck, the newest adition to my family. but ssssssh, mommy doesnt know about him yet. daddy knows and doesnt mind, he thinks hes cute... which he is. he has long hair. and i love him. maddy and i bought him after we got $34.72 from our change at the coinstar at super fresh.
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[20 Jun 2004|12:51pm] |
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hey guys. last night i babysat this insanly good kids. it was almost scary how good they were. i watched jeepers creepers after they went to bed, except i turned it off because i got scared (lol you wouldve if you were all alone too) and i missed the ending. anyone see it who can tell me? okay whatever. happy fathers day to whomever it may concern.
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[08 Apr 2004|12:27pm] |
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from now on, theyre all going to be friends only... sorry, but just comment and ill add you.
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[21 Mar 2004|06:01pm] |
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im so excited. my aunt is in labor and i get to be the baby's godmother. how cool is that? its supposed to be a girl, who is going to be named marie probably. ill update right when i hear shes born, like you care lol. this weekend went by too fast... much too fast. right now i am in the biggest contimplative mood. im stuck in a pickle and i dont know what to do about it, but i really dont feel like posting my sticky situation. oh well ill stop here. cya guys, hope you all had an awesome weekend.
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